Some people love it whilst others absolutely hate it. As a bearded person, I have had my fair share of reactions. Some people have said that they feel incredibly sorry for my partner having to kiss a beard. Whilst for other people it makes no difference. Kissing with a beard can be relatively tricky because you have to navigate the hair that can get caught in between lips.
Kissing someone with facial hair relies on focusing on the bottom lip. Unless your partner has a very long moustache the bottom lip is the most accessible part for kissing. Trimming the moustache hairs just on top of the lip line is another way to ensure that beard hair does not get in the way.
In this article, we’re going to go over everything you need to know about how to kiss someone with facial hair from the perspective of someone with a beard as well as what it is like to kiss someone with a beard.
There are plenty of opinions and suggestions online and I have included my own experience on what works when kissing my partner.
Tips on kissing a guy with a beard
Some people really like kissing men with beards. Maybe it is the primal instinct. Maybe it is personal preference, maybe it is their specific kink.
In my instance, I first started dating my girlfriend when I was clean-shaven. We had been together for approximately 13 years before I decided to grow a big bushy beard. Before I embarked on my beard growing journey I made sure that my partner was fully aware of the potential issues which could arise from being intimate with a man sporting a beard.
I have had my beard for a couple of years now and here are the important tips which I think are universal for whether or not your partner has a short, medium, or long beard.
Focus on the bottom lip
Once your beard passes the medium length the only real part which is freely available for uninterrupted kissing is the bottom lip.
Unless your partner is growing a particularly long or fancy moustache, the bottom lip stays relatively free of hairy obstructions for a relatively long time.
If you are focusing on kissing their bottom lip your nose is out of position where it may be pressing on the top layer of the moustache hairs. This is a much better position than being spiked by being slightly under the hairs. Your top lip may experience a little bit of spikiness but, keeping the moustache hairs short and well conditioned will minimise any issues that arise from kissing a man with a slightly longer moustache.
Ask him to trim his mustache
Some bearded men really like the idea of having a big flowing moustache. This fancy, or handlebar, style moustache can very easily cover the entire mouth. Even though the huge number of men find this aspirational and start their beard growing journeys with that goal – it quite often turns into more of a hassle than they thought and many end up trimming them moustache short.
A shorter moustache certainly makes it much easier to kiss.
The best length, in my experience, is where the hairs have been trimmed to just above or below the top lip line. This gives you plenty of access to both lips and minimises the amount of interaction with the hairs.
Trimming above the lip line also means it is impossible to get longhairs trapped between kissing lips.
The only issue that may arise is in the corners of the mouth. The corners of the mouth are typically much longer hairs because they connect the moustache to the beard. If you are kissing particularly passionately these can easily get swept up into the mouth.
Some hairs will get in the way
There is no doubt that having a lot of hair around your mouth will get in the way sometimes. Even if your partner has a relatively short moustache hairs can easily end up in your mouth if you manage to catch a loose one with your lips.
Some people love the feeling of kissing a beard whilst others hate it.
If you have started dating a person without a beard and they decide to grow one (as in my case) it is important to explain to your partner how you feel as they are growing a beard.
You may find that you prefer a medium beard for kissing rather than a long beard. You may also prefer a moustache less style of beard where you can access the entire mouth without having to worry about coming into contact with hairs.
No matter how much hair there is around the mouth some well and up getting in the way and causing issues such as beard burn or stubble rash. Finding out which ones you prefer the most and communicating that with your partner is an important step in kissing a man with facial hair.
Feel free to push it out of the way
If the beard is particularly long feel free to push it out of the way with your hands.
Some people do not like the way it feels on the chin while they are kissing. You are able to simply hold the beard back with the palms of your hands cradling the face so that the hair does not get in the way. You cannot easily move hairs away from your mouth but, if the hairs along, you can easily sweep back the hairs before kissing and hold them on the cheek.
Practice and communicate
It is important to continue to communicate effectively and practised different styles of kissing until you find the ones that work for you.
I was always very self-conscious about kissing my partner (even after 13 years) with my new moustache and beard. Sometimes I felt very sorry for her, and this led to me not kissing her as often which also brought up other issues in the relationship.
I should have been open and honest about my feelings and thoughts around kissing her with a face full of hair and then work together to solve those issues.
Relationships are always evolving and a beard may be one of the issues that you need to solve together.
There is no harm in expressing your preferences to your partner. This isn’t to say that they need to do anything different to their beard and, they may choose not to. But the act of you expressing your preferences means that they have the opportunity to address them directly. If there is no communication about what your bearded kissing preferences are it can be very difficult to find a balance which works for both of you.
With all things in a relationship practice makes perfect and continually experimenting to find what works well for both of you can be very fun and bring you closer as a couple.
What’s it like kissing someone with a beard?
There are a variety of opinions on what is like to kiss someone with a beard. All the way from it being “disgusting” through ambivalence to absolutely loving it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bearded topic polarise an online community so much.
Because everyone’s beard is different exactly what it is like to kiss someone with a beard varies wildly. Primarily, it depends on the length of the beard whether it is stubble, medium length, or long, and it also depends on how well conditioned the beard is.
As you can see, the opinions vary wildly. Here are all of the factors which determine what is like to kiss a man with a beard.
It depends on the length
The first deciding factor on how comfortable, awkward, or scratchy kissing will be is the length of the hair. From just a few days of stubble all the way up to a year long beard there are a variety of stages in between which determine what it is like.
Kissing someone with stubble can be the most uncomfortable resulting in beard rash or Beard burn. At this length the beard is not long enough to yield when put under pressure and, the ends of the hair have been shaved to a point or trimmed flat which makes them particularly needlelike.
There is a product called The Soft Goat which is a hypoallergenic pad which, when rubbed on stubble, dulls sharp edges from trimming and shaving. It is the first stubble softener that doesn’t rely on absorption of a product into the stubble.
The concept is very simple – it is quickly and easily removing the sharp ends of your hair through mechanical action. It is a small and lightly textured pad that you gently rub in a circular motion over your daily growth for about a minute or two depending on your results.
Each pad lasts about two months and comes in a box of three – so that is six months of super soft stubble!
A medium length beard encompasses anything from approximately 5 mm in length all the way to a few inches. There is a wide variety of medium length beers and styles and each one can severely impact what is like to kiss.
In my medium length stage, I found that it was probably the most uncomfortable for kissing. I was in the process of growing out my beard hair and the different lengths made it hard to trim. The hairs tended to be more wild and they would easily stick out from my face and get in the way of kissing.
It wasn’t until my beard got past about 3 inches in length I was able to easily move out of the way and it was long enough to not get swept up into my mouth from the below my bottom lip.
I’ve certainly found that having a longer beard with a short moustache has been the best balance of beard and easy kissing.
Having a really long beard enables the person to be able to sweep the hairs away from the mouth. Even people with a very long beard can trim up their moustache relatively short so that they free up space around them mouth.
Unless the person has specifically grown at a really long moustache – like a fancy moustache – kissing with a longer beard is relatively in obstructive.
A fancy moustache is able to be waxed to the sides once it surpasses a couple inches in length which can take a few months. But, once it is there, beard balm and beard wax can easily keep the moustache well out of the way and swept to the sides of the face.
If you are willing to push through the moustache growth stages moving it to the side is the easiest way to free up space for kissing.
There seems to be women talk about kissing men with beards and that is it is very scratchy.
Once again, some people love the scratchy feeling whilst others detest it.
There are number of ways that you can soften a beard and, ultimately, it comes down to having a well nourished and condition beard where you can use beard oil, beard butter, beard conditioner, or a combination of all of them to create a super soft and kissable beard.
Hair in mouth
There is no escaping the fact that hair will end up in your mouth at some point if you are kissing a man with a beard. Even if the moustaches trimmed up relatively well loose hairs are easily dislodged from the face and can end up in your mouth.
Another thing that having a beard changes is the smell for your partner.
No matter what your mustache smells like you will get used to the smell throughout the day. It isn’t until someone new gets close to your mustache that they will be able to smell something that your brain has simply decided to ignore.
As long as you have good personal hygiene you will be able to conquer nearly all of the disgusting mustache smells. However, there are a variety of reasons which can cause a mustache to smell gross:
- bacteria – one of the most common reasons your mustache can smell bad is that it has bacteria lurking inside. Bacteria feast on the dead skin cells and sweat which has built up at the base of the hair. Simply shampooing deeply into the mustache can fix all of these problems.
- Environmental smells – there are so many things in your daily life that can smell and get absorbed into your mustache. Smoky campfire, smoke, pollution, and other persistent smells can end up in your mustache and change the smell during a kiss.
- Food – even though men with mustache don’t like to admit it we can end up with a fair bit of food in our whiskers. Even the most diligent of mustache wielding eaters will end up with food in their mustache – cutting food into bite-size portions and using a straw can help.
- Sebum – this is the natural oil that is produced by your skin and it is the natural way of your body keeping the hair conditioned and soft. However, sebum can build up at the base of the mustache hair and if you don’t wash your mustache deeply it can start to harbor bacteria.
Besides all of the gross reasons a mustache smell can change your choice of product such as a wax or balm can easily cause your mustache to smell different.
It is something that you get used to
I was asking my partner exactly what it was like to kiss someone with a beard and she said that even though, at first, it can be relatively daunting you eventually get used to it.
Just like anything that is new, novel, or unique, kissing someone with a beard can be very different and therefore you pay a lot of attention to it initially. After you play around with the styles of kissing, trimming, playing with different products and beard styles, it can be something that you get used to.
My partner now doesn’t think twice about giving me a quick peck on the lips or cheek and, my beard has become part of me.
In this article, we have gone over how you kiss someone with a beard and all of the steps you can take to make sure that it is an enjoyable experience for everyone involved!
Remember that in any relationship communication is key and expressing your preferences to your partners will help you find the middle ground for everyone.